If you haven’t spent any time at a mall food court recently, I would definitely recommend doing so. It’s not like the old days, I can tell you that much. One main problem…no Orange Julius’ or Corn Dogs in sight. What the hell kind of a food court doesn’t have an Orange Julius???? Damn those smoothies were good…old school Jamba Juices is what they were, but ten times better. Their lemonade was killer.
But back to the story. Last weekend I was sitting alone at a table at the food court, waiting for my fiance to finish his errand at the mall, when I saw two awkward teenage guys strut their way across “the court” to sit at the table next to mine. The boys were probably around twelve years old, meaning they were telling all the girls they were sixteen and could drive. The following is an honest-to-god dialogue the two of them had while I sat, innocently sipping my Diet Coke next to them:
Boy #1: You think she’s gonna like that shit I bought her?
Boy #2: Yeah, dude. All chicks like candles.
Boy #1: It smells kinda weird…all fruity and shit. But girls like that, right?
Boy #2: Yeah.
Boy #1: The lady at the store said it was supposed to smell like a kiwi or something.
Boy #2: What the hell is a kiwi, man?
Boy #1: It’s kind of like a lime, but has hair on it. It’s a fruit.
Boy #2: What the fuck kind of fruit has hair on it, man?
At this point, Diet Coke squirted out through my nose and I promised myself I would visit the food court more often.