Me + Google = 4Eva

 

 

So I think somebody at Google read my blog yesterday. (Okay, maybe not…but let’s just pretend). Because yet again, my trusty New York Times wrote a fascinating article today about Google’s new method of weeding through the thousands of job applications it receives each month. In pure Google fashion, the company has developed an algorithm that calculates the compatibility between the candidate and the company, based on the job seekers answers to a set of pre-determined questions.

Just for the hell of it (and because I want to work for Google), I’ve put myself to the test and taken a stab at answering some of the questions they give potential hires. Take a gander and see if I make the cut:

Google: Have you ever made a profit from a catering business or dog walking?
Me: Does an extremely successful lemonade stand one summer in Nantucket count?

Google: Do you prefer to work alone or in groups?
Me: Depends on the group…hahahah, just kidding (not really).

Google: Have you ever set a world record in anything?
Me: I believe I’ve been hit in the head with an out-of-bounds ball at various sporting events more than any other person I know. I guess that means I stand out from the crowd…or have extremely sh*tty luck.

Google: Have you ever established a nonprofit organization?
Me: Umm, I work at one…and I’m kicking ass and taking names. How’s that?

Google: When did you first get excited about computers?
Me: When Atari came out – and that was like, in the early 80s. Call me an early adopter.

Google: What programming languages are you familiar with?
Me: Sanskrit

Did I pass? Did I pass?

My favorite quote of the article is at the very end, when Google’s vice president for people operations, Laszlo Bock, admits, “Last week we hired six people who had below a 3.0 G.P.A.s.”

Laszlo, buddy…I was way above a 3.0 in college (but I can be below that if you need me to). Call me. I’m available for hire immediately. Did I mention I’ll work for free? I’m not embarassed to be the oldest intern at Google…really I’m not.  There are worse things an intern can be…

(Ahem, Monica…would you care to explain yourself???)