Is that a Urinal in Your Pocket, or Are You Just Happy to See Me?

Oh glorious, glorious day! It’s Friday…the beginning of the weekend…and two days of freedom await me. What better way to celebrate then to enjoy a nice cold lager at my local drinking hole?

But wait…what’s that? What’s that guy carrying? Whatever it is, it’s HUGE. Is that a…? No, it couldn’t be. There’s no way…like that would ever happen. Wait, wait a second…it is…I think it is…

Oh. My. God. IT IS!

The above was the inner dialogue of a young lad in England who, just hours ago, personally witnessed the robbery of a urinal from a town pub. You think I’m kidding? Think again, my friend. Reuters is reporting that british police are in pursuit of a man who stole a TOILET from a men’s bathroom at a pub. The article goes on to say:

“The suspect walked into the Royal Oak pub in Southampton, on the English south coast, ordered half a pint of beer and then made several visits to the men’s toilet. There he carefully removed a white urinal from the wall, stuffed it into a rucksack and was captured on closed circuit television walking out with the bulging sack on his back.”

Sir, whoever you are, please think about what you’re doing. Sir, I think you need to return the urinal – unharmed – to the pub immediately. This is not a joke. I’m guessing somebody needs to use that thing as we speak. And if men have to start sharing the women’s bathroom at the pub, well, it could get ugly… somebody could get hurt. Sir, do it for me. Please.

Please bring the urinal home.

(If anyone has seen the above urinal, please alert the authorities immediately)