I love my readers. Why? Because they’re smarties.
A lot of you have already emailed me about my latest blog feature, offering up some hysterical suggestions – and for that, I love you. For those of you who have no idea what the hell I’m talking about… take a gander at the right side of the page and you’ll see what I like to call my new “Enlightening Quote of the Week” feature. Basically, I just wanted to give you all yet another reason to check back frequently and visit us here at Sticky Notes. Each week, I’ll be posting yet another meaningful movie and/or TV quote that has somehow touched me.
The inaugural quote currently showcased is dedicated to my brother who introduced me to the hilarity of the movie “Real Genius” when we were kids. If you have yet to see this movie, I must first ask you what the hell you were doing in 1985…then I must tell you to go Netflix it immediately. It’s a real comic gem and worth prioritizing in your queue over “Happy Feet.” It also features a young, virile Val Kilmer pre “Top Gun” who, in the movie, sports some of the best tee-shirts around.
Speaking of teeshirts, I’ll think about sending you one if you submit the funniest movie quote in your comments. Yes, I’m asking for audience participation here. If you come up with the most uproarious, side-splitting, I just had coffee come out of my nostrils quote, I’ll possibly sending you one of the following duds. C’mon…don’t you want to walk around on a Sunday with one of these beauties on??? (Okay, maybe not. But it’s the thrill of victory, right?)
PS – if you don’t get the teeshirt on the top left, we need to have a talk….because that movie, my dear friends, made me what I am today.
“Lu-cas! Lu-cas! Lu-cas!”
The Sticky Notes on My Mind... 
“You’re laborers. You’re supposed to be laboring. That’s what you get for not having an education.”-Professor Jerome Hathoway, T.V. Host of the educational program “Everything” from the greatest movie on earth.
Haha – I love it! Despite George being the only person to comment so far, he has a huge lead over the imminent competition…
I have a few entries. It’s morning though, and I’m not fully awake, I might have more later:
Spaceballs:
Barf: I’m a mawg: half man, half dog. I’m my own best friend!
What About Bob
Bill Murray: Roses are red, violets are blue, I’m a schizophrenic and so am I.
The Breakfast Club
Richard Vernon: Well, well. Here we are. You have exactly eight hours and fifty-four minutes to think about why you’re here. You may not talk, you will not move from these seats. Any questions?
John Bender: Yeah. Does Barry Manilow know that you raid his wardrobe?
Along Came Polly
Sandy Lyle: Reuben, I’m in a situation here. We have to leave now.
Reuben Feffer: No. Can we stay a couple more minutes?
Sandy Lyle: Dude, no. This is serious. I just sharted.
Reuben Feffer: I don’t know what that means.
Sandy Lyle: I tried to fart and a little shit came out. I just sharted. Now let’s go.
Reuben Feffer: You’re the most disgusting person I’ve ever met in my life.
40 year old virgin
Andy Stitzer: You know what my problem is? I am not interesting. What am I supposed to say I went to magic camp? That I’m an accomplished ventriloquist? Oh, I am the 7th degree imperial yo-yo master.
Ohh Amers, I knew you’d step up to the plate! I just gaffawed when I saw the shart quote. Yes, GAFFAWED.
“I just saw two big, fat, naked bikers having sex in the woods off of 18. How am I supposed to chip with that going on?”-Shooter McGavin expressing his displeasure over the “Happy Gilmore Effect” on the pro golf tour.
Fletch: If you shoot me, you’re liable to lose a lot of those humanitarian awards.
Happy Gilmore: you eat pieces of shit for breakfast?
Fletch…another fantastic ’80s movie that will always live in infamy.
Damn, it’s gonna be hard picking a winner.
PS – Jenni, I’m waiting…
“Hey. If any of you are looking for any last-minute gift ideas for me, I have one. I’d like Frank Shirley, my boss, right here tonight. I want him brought from his happy holiday slumber over there on Melody Lane with all the other rich people and I want him brought right here, with a big ribbon on his head, and I want to look him straight in the eye and I want to tell him what a cheap, lying, no-good, rotten, four-flushing, low-life, snake-licking, dirt-eating, inbred, overstuffed, ignorant, blood-sucking, dog-kissing, brainless, dickless, hopeless, heartless, fat-ass, bug-eyed, stiff-legged, spotty-lipped, worm-headed sack of monkey shit he is. Hallelujah. Holy shit. Where’s the Tylenol?” -This movie needs no introduction.
I’m back, boo. I’m back, with a few more. People, watch out. I’m out to win….
—————————-
Garden State:
Tim: [to Mark’s mom, Carol] I had a lovely evening.
[to Andrew]
Tim: By the way, it says BALLS on your face.
———————————————–
Garden State:
Mark: So this is it…
Andrew Largeman: So knock… knock and barter for Desert Storm trading cards.
Mark: Don’t tease me about my hobbies. I don’t tease you about being an asshole.
———————————
Garden State:
Sam: Sidecars are for bitches.
———————————–
Tommy Boy:
Richard:Oh that sounds good, melted chocolate inside the dash, that really ups the resale value.
Tommy: I think you’ll be ok here, they have a thin candy shell, suprised you didn’t know that.
Richard: I think your brain has a thick candy shell
Tommy: Your…..Your brain has a shell on it.
Richard: Are you talking?
Tommy: Shut up Richard!
———————————————-
Team America World Police:
Joe: Your plan will fail! You’ll never keep the world leaders distracted here for 9 hours!
Kim Jong Il: Oh no? I’ve got Arec Barrwin!
Joe: Dear God!
———————————————
Team America World Police:
Tim Robbins: Actors!
[shouts]
Tim Robbins: Attack!
Helen Hunt: Helen Hunt!
Samuel L. Jackson: Samuel Jackson!
Matt Damon: Matt Damon!
———————————–
Planes, Trains & Automobiles:
Del: Was that seat hot or what? I feel like a Whopper. Turn me over, I’m done and ready. I’m afraid to look at my ass. There’ll be grill marks.
————————————————
Planes, Trains & Automobiles:
[waking up after sharing the same bed on the motel]
Neal: Del… Why did you kiss my ear?
Del: Why are you holding my hand?
Neal: [frowns] Where’s your other hand?
Del: Between two pillows…
Neal: Those aren’t pillows!
And the quote that should seal the deal…”True love is hard to find. Sometimes you think you have true love and then you catch the early flight home from San Diego and a couple of nude people jump out of your bathroom blindfolded like a goddamn magic show ready to double team your girlfriend.” -Mitch Martin in Old School (My interpretation? What I think Mitch is trying to say here is that love is blind!)
“Moisture is the essence of wetness. And wetness is the essence of beauty!”-Derek Zoolander
Wow, it’s neck-to-neck, with GSizzle and Amers duking it out for the win.
And now I’m thinking, “shit – how the hell am I ever going to find a new, funny quote each week now that you guys have already submitted all of them?”
I have a few myself:
1.
Rumack: “We need get to a hospital. How soon can you land this plane?
Capt. Oveur: I can’t tell.
Rumack: You can tell me, I’m a doctor.
Capt. Oveur: No, I mean I don’t know.
Rumack: Well, can’t you take a guess?
Capt. Oveur: Not for another two hours.
Rumack: You can’t take a guess for another two hours?”
2.
Sophisticated NY Party Guest: “I recently had an orgasm, only my therapist said it was the wrong kind.”
Woody Allen: “You had the wrong kind, really? I’ve never had the wrong kind, ever. My worst one was right on the money.”
3. One of my favorites of all time, which I can recite at will:
Carl Spackler:
“So I jump ship in Hong Kong and make my way over to Tibet, and I get on as a looper at a course over in the Himalayas. A looper, you know, a caddy, a looper, a jock. So, I tell them I’m a pro jock, and who do you think they give me? The Dalai Lama, himself. Twelfth son of the Lama. The flowing robes, the grace, bald… striking. So, I’m on the first tee with him. I give him the driver. He hauls off and whacks one – big hitter, the Lama – long, into a ten-thousand foot crevasse, right at the base of this glacier. Do you know what the Lama says? Gunga galunga… gunga, gunga-galunga. So we finish the eighteenth and he’s gonna stiff me. And I say, Hey, Lama, hey, how about a little something, you know, for the effort, you know.’ And he says, ‘Oh, uh, there won’t be any money, but when you die, on your deathbed, you will receive total consciousness.’ So I got that goin’ for me, which is nice.”
“Nobody puts Baby in a corner.” -Dirty Dancing
“Tattoo of a Princeton Tiger on the upper thigh. Might as well be a bullseye.” -A paraphrase of a similar quote from Wedding Crashers (Enjoy Morris)
::::::::already taking my measurements for tee::::::::
Aaaaaand commence shit-talking. It’s like a real competition now!!! I love it!
“A gun rack?…A gun rack. I don’t even own A GUN , let alone many guns that would necessitate the use of a gun rack. What am I going to do with a gun rack?”
(oh, yes, i have more…)
:::::deciding which jeans will go best with my tee::::::::
“Looks like I picked the wrong week to stop sniffing glue.” –Steve McCroskey in Airplane
Pretty good AJ.
But,
:::::::::now picking out the perfect seemless bra to wear with tee::::::::::
Based on her last post, I say give the t-shirt to Amers.
“I work with retards.”-Matt Dillon in Something About Mary.
ha!
“People get all kinds of things at the D.Q…Burgers…Ice cream…anything really…Coke…you can just drive up and get a Coke…if you’re thirsty.”
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my favourite year.
peter o’toole comes out of a cubicle. an elderly woman stands next to him, while he zips up his flies.
lady:”excuse me, this ones for the ladies”.
peter o’toole:”so’s this one. but i have to run a little water through it now and again”.
Hi
Very interesting information! Thanks!
Bye