“Is This Thing On???” and Other Stories From the Blackberry Blackout

It’s official…the apocalypse has come. Late last night, a system failure at Research In Motion caused millions of Blackberry users in the Western Hemisphere to ask, “What the hell? Is this thing ON???” That’s right – all was quiet on the email front for hours on end while email traffic was completely interruped by some serious system gliches.

In New York City, businessmen were seen hunting down pigeons in Central Park, tying cocktails napkins with handwritten notes to the birds’ feet, and releasing them into the air while yelling, “MUST COMMUNICATE WITH MY BROKER!”

Socialites were using morse code in overcrowded, boisterous nightclubs. College students desperately sent out MySpace Bulletins to keep in touch with their friends. In DC, Senators and Congressmen resorted to the traditional use of human Pages to run across the city with memorized memos drifting in ther heads…a few bystanders even spotted some youngsters jogging with briefcases handcuffed to their wrists.  (And you thought that only happened in “Spies Like Us…”)

And finally, poor Jessica Simpson sat at Mr. Chow’s, repeatedly pressing her Blackberry’s “Send/Receive” button, thinking, “…………..”

Dear god, what is the world coming to??????

(PS – the “Englightening Quote of the Week” contest is coming to a close…get your funny-ass comments in before it’s too late!)